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February 18, 2010, a day that shall live in infamy!
You know what, my humans went out and were adopted by another C-A-T; you heard me right: a CAT and it’s an ugly one to boot. They call her Bailey, I call her Funny Face. Funny Face Bailey has one blue eye and one green eye. I ask you, really, can one get any stranger than that? I attach a mug shot of the creature and you’ll be the judge. We were so happy together. Why oh why did they have to bring that beast home? I had my humans so well trained. A little meow here and a meowwwww there, and I would get whatever I fancied. Now I have to start all over again and, worse, share the benefits of my educating two humans with an unwelcome intruder. I gave them a piece of my mind, you betcha (as Sarah, what’s her name, would say)! I purred, hissed, growled and chased the beast around the place. If I only catch her I’ll put this sticker on her tail or better still, maybe I’ll introduce her to my friend, Ali (Gator). I got to go, Funny Face Bailey is getting close to my bowl and I will not have any of that! Chargeeeeeeee!
Olivia (Miss)
Funny Face Bailey
Jacksonville, January 12, 2010
A so-called friend from Luxembourg, Europe sent the malicious cartoon following to my human. Of course, he thought that it was very funny.... I don't think so! That's not me, I am sweet. I am considering legal action against everybody viewing it .... as soon as I find a fat cat lawyer!
Olivia (Miss)
Luxembourg, January 7, 2010
Dear Olivia,
First of all I wish you a Happy New Year!
I know that I promised you last October to write a letter, but you know…time passes so quickly…
But I regularly read your blog (in fact ‘Mama’ (the Luxemburgish word for mummy), my human mum reads it and then gives me the news … Really very nice and funny….
I think that you do really stupid things like eating ornaments off the cat's tree. I never did that. I am a nice and good boy. (Maybe Mama doesn’t have the same opinion ….)
Did your humans make Christmas decoration? My Mama did, and she explained to me that I was not permitted to touch. I am well educated and I mind. But you know same procedure as every year …. I exactly knew that not touching would bring me two gifts. ;-)
One gift I got on the 6th of December, Kleeseschersdâg (St. Nick's Day in English). On that day good children get gifts here in Luxembourg and my Mama always says that I am her only child ;-). The second gift, I received on Christmas Day. Mmmmhhhhh …..my presents were very yummy. What about your Christmas presents?
I know that it’s difficult for you to understand your humans, because your human mum speaks English and your human dad sometimes Luxembourgish, you really need some Luxembourgish lessons. Maybe we are able to chat one day and then I will explain you the main words… that will be very funny.
Today it’s snowing outside and it’s very cold. In winter I don’t often go out. My Mama says that it’s better to do so, not to catch a cold. And I hate to go and see the doctor. Thank God, my best friend Olaf (a British shorthair cat) from the 3rd floor comes to visit me regularly, so it’s not so boring. Yesterday morning he woke me up at 7 o’clock and stayed with me the whole day long. Then we play a lot, such as catching and so on.
It’s nearly noon now here in Luxembourg and I’m very hungry….so I leave you for today.
A big Mmmrrraaouu......
Poli
Your friend from Luxembourg.
Jacksonville, January 5, 2010
Dear Feline Friends near and far,
I just have to share my experiences in this crazy place!
For one thing, have you ever seen a tree in a box? That’s what my humans came up with recently. They brought this huge box out of storage, and after some doings and a few choice words, which I shall not repeat here, ta ta and voilà! they actually built a tree. Amazing! Then they proceeded to hang all kind of shiny ornaments (ornaments, that’s what they call the funny stuff they hung on the tree). I had, of course, to taste some of that…. and oh boy …. was I sick! I definitely do not recommend tinsel for breakfast, lunch, dinner or even for a snack! That stuff is nasty. Anyhow, I am fine now and I learned one more lesson: stuff that sparkles is not edible.
Another funny thing I can’t fathom happens every day. Picture this: a glass-enclosed, small room, maybe 2 x 4 feet, with a spigot showering barrels of hot water and you know what: they go and stand under it…. Crazy or what?
Then every evening my male human gets all lovey-dovey, usually after dinner. Maybe it’s the glass of wine he has with dinner. I call that my agony time. He catches me and hugs and pats me, but I am not that kind of girl! I endure it, but I don’t have to like it!
Anyway, I guess I have to make the best of it and tolerate these humans and their eccentricities.
Tata for now,
Olivia (Miss)
